Scattered

I wish to be laying calm and peacefully in a meadow. A deliciously refreshing yet warm breeze caressing my worries away. Caught within multiple dimensions of harmony and tranquility. I have been scattered in this constant whirlwind of emotions. They include bitterness, rage, anger and loneliness. A part of my mind knows better than to allow these feelings to consume me. The other part finds it easy to get lost in them. Permit them to dictate the next steps I take. Let them take the lead on how my day will go and how I handle situations, people and life in general.

I have yet to master being the one in control of organizing the scattered parts of myself but I am working on the best project I could ever choose to invest in. Me.

– Writer From Jersey

Thrill

Temptation and thrills. Lust and raw emotions. The night serves as a cloak to mask the true nature of its inhabitants intentions. The darkness calls out to us. Awakens us from our bed to seek adventure. Clumsily we join the drunken crowd. Tangled in each other’s kisses. Desire has painted itself throughout our bodies. We have been soaked with wine, sweat and our own wetness. She will always be the source of my madness. A constant craving. A deep rooted need for pleasure. 
– Writer From Jersey 

Having Faith

Faith is one thing I know I have lacked time and time again. I am human after all. I have my moments of triumph, defeat and of course those in between moments. Presently, I find myself unemployed once again. I notice for some reason, I am not having much luck with stable employment. I do admit some instances have been somewhat my fault due to me being picky but generally speaking, my luck has not been the greatest in that aspect. I wish I could afford to not work and stay home or go back to school but sadly, that is not the case with me. My parents both work but they have their own bills to pay, I have my own bills to pay and it is just not in the cards for me to not work. My own pride will not allow me to do so anyway. I enjoy having resources to be able to go out, pay my own way with things and to just have money for a rainy day if needed.

I have been on some interviews which have went very well. I am hoping to hear back from a major hospital in my area. Despite the fact that it is through a temp agency, I am sure that they won’t let go of a good person, Hospitals always need people to work for them. I am remaining surprisingly calm throughout all of this. Being that I have been at this point before, I have usually been a hot mess. I am truly embracing this period in time in which I am not doing anything for once. I have time to reflect on my next steps and also the recent emotional turmoil of my last breakup. I will confess I have been crying a lot these days. Shedding tears over a person who has stated themselves that they are not worth my tears, effort or thoughts. I have seriously evaluated said statement from this person and I am realizing that if the person alone cannot appreciate their own worth, what in the hell makes me think they were going to realize and appreciate mine in the first place? Funny how this revelation is taking place as I am typing this post.

Relationships have been an epic fail for me in the past 3-4 years and I am tired. I think it is about time I place my faith in something more worthwhile and with more permanence ; myself. I neglect myself so often to please others and make others happy. I act like I can’t function without having someone by my side when in retrospect, I have been living, breathing and progressing pretty well on my own. I am a lot stronger, independent and beautiful than I give myself credit for. I need to give myself daily wake up calls/reminders about who I am.

I just need to be my own best friend, first love, my own everything.

  • Writer From Jersey

Vampires

Never quite understood women of your kind

Cleverly disguising yourself as a rare find

When the sad reality is you’re merely a parasite

Seeking the next innocent host to feast on and smite

Poisonous are your illicit actions and venomous is your snare

Should have listened to the signs that screamed beware

I gave up my body, mind, soul and sanity to satisfy your needs

Only to end up broken and just being one of your many feeds

– Writer From Jersey

Breaking Point or Period of Growth..

Lately, I have been at a point that I don’t know what I am feeling or where I am going. Going through a tough breakup and also losing my job shortly thereafter really shakes you up in every aspect of the expression. I have lost a lot within these past couple of months and it is just so overwhelming having to start over again. Even thinking about the process and putting it into writing is draining. I know that it is inevitable and must be done. I am ready and also eager to take on whatever new journeys life has to offer me.

I am just filled with anger, resentment and pain. I have learned a huge lesson throughout all this. I realize that my love, attention and effort is truly not for everyone. I can’t dish out a buffet for those who are used to eating leftover scraps from the table.

– Writer From Jersey

Honey

craving the sweetness of bliss, lust, pain and passion

colliding together to create beauty in it’s most carnal form

desire hanging over my entire being

thick as honey, its potency only increasing with time.

that delicious pull between my legs as you get closer

your lips burn my skin with a piercing fire

i am in flames as you sink into me

dive deep into this pool of seduction you’ve submerged me in

i am floating as my climax reaches the high point

as our sweat, juices and kisses drip over each other

like honey.

Idle Conversation

I enjoy both conversation and quiet. Two completely opposite things yet both hold extreme value to me. I am a writer. Us writers love words and the constant flow of them is what keeps us alive. Makes us happy. I feel that the best gift that can be given is the gift of conversation, anything with words.

That has been lacking for me as of late. Not in the general mundane aspect. In the deep, penetrating, challenging and unforgettable way. I understand not everyone possesses that innate ability to maximum capacity but it is within anyone to at least fucking try. The bar I set may be aimed too high perhaps. I expect too much from others. Which is why I often turn to writing and allow my own words to keep me company when others consistently fail at doing so.

I have concluded that words are the bread of life for my soul.  If I lack them, I provide them for my own but it gets tiring feeling as if you are repeating the same thing over and over. You get tired of waiting for others to get the hint. Because if they actually knew you as well as they say they do, they would actually attempt to talk to you. Get to the root of the problem. Not turn a blind eye or be so completely fucking oblivious.

– Writer From Jersey

Maine

A few years back, my family and I went on a vacation to Wells, Maine. I know it isn’t an ideal vacation hot spot like Florida, the Caribbean or Las Vegas but we wanted to do something out of the norm. I was immediately excited because we were getting away from Jersey for awhile and also LOBSTER! Anyone that knows me will tell you the eternal love I have for seafood. The 7 hour drive honestly gave me such anxiety deep inside but I put that to the side because hey, going on a vacation is pretty dope. I remember waking up at like 3:30am to get on the road to avoid traffic. (Perks of your dad being a truck driver, that trucker mentality does not leave him for a second.) The ride wasn’t too bad as I was asleep for most of it, thanks to Dramamine. Anyway, the second time I opened my eyes from sleeping, all I saw was a beautiful coastline, quaint little houses, and blue skies. An instant overflow of being at peace came over my body. I knew this was going to be a true vacation..

The cottage we stayed at was the cutest little abode ever. It had a nautical theme to the decor and had an awesome deck with a table and chairs that overlooked a vast field dotted with other vacation cottages and also the pool that came with the properties. Everyone who stayed in that group of cottages was able to use the pool so I guess you could say it was semi public. As I stepped outside of my dad’s car, I inhaled fresh air. FRESH AIR. Even the air smelled cleaner there but that was due to the fact that we were not in a major city obviously. I knew I was going to fall in love with Maine and everything about it.

Throughout the duration of our stay, I felt like I was on retirement after several long years of working hard. My family and I did do some pretty cool things such as take pictures across from this lighthouse along the coastline, went out to eat at Ogunquit Lobster Pound restaurant in which you were able to pick your own lobster from the tank, have a member of the staff weigh it and they would cook it and bring it to your table, and went to one of the beaches there. Our family met a woman who was vacationing there with her young daughter and husband. We all clicked instantly and exchanged contact information. We also indulged in lobster bisque, clam chowder and many other delicious eats Maine had to offer but a good portion of the vacation was spent in that adorable cottage. My dad and I polished two huge bottles of red wine that week, I read by the pool and on the deck during the day, and even rose earlier than the others to take in the sun rising early in the morning. Every day spent out there was just so relaxing, refreshing and peaceful. I had the usual feeling of not wanting to leave and return back to reality but this was oddly different.

I knew I wanted to come back here. One day.

Our last day there was a sad one. I wouldn’t say I’d live in Maine because it is too quiet for my taste honestly but would I pick it as a prime vacation choice? YES! Before we set back out on the road, we drove to one of the nearby beaches just to get a last glimpse of the gorgeous scenery. I remember sitting on that wooden bench staring out at the crashing waves and I felt something in me pull away gently and go out with the tide. I still to this day can’t pinpoint exactly what that was but all I know is traveling to Maine, being so far removed from everything routine and mundane did wonders for my soul.

I decided to blog about Maine because my sister randomly suggested we should definitely make an effort to travel out there this summer as a family. I couldn’t agree with her more and am praying to God/the universe it can happen.

Glad I chose to blog about happier times. It’s given me quite the emotional boost I needed. – Writer From Jersey

Comfort

Beats and words.

A constant flow of both

Have often provided me vast comfort

In troubled times

From chaos, I create beauty

A soothing balm for the pain

Verbal elixir to soothe the senses

I am a writer, a creator, an artist

With divine favor and immaculate talent

A heart of gold and a mindset to kill

Several stories to tell and all of the time in the world to do it

Willing to lend a listening ear to anyone who requires it

This is who I am

This is Writer From Jersey

But more importantly, I was born with the name Jasmine

Who is the woman behind this computer screen

The one who needs these words almost as much as she needs oxygen

She is just like many of you.

A writer who simply wishes to write.

-Writer From Jersey

But Why Though . .

I am definitely the product and epitome of the “Y” generation. I question every single damn thing. Whether it’s something/someone in my life, a change I need to undergo, why the sky is blue..I just ask myself a lot of questions. Some are completely pointless and can be easily dismissed from my mind but others burn a hole into my consciousness. They are an everlasting thorn in my side, keep me up at night and set my anxiety through the roof.

Questioning everything and having high empathetic tendencies can serve a great purpose but they are more draining that the most powerful leeches out there. I find that they are calmed when I am useful, busy and appreciated. I mean being appreciated can make any person feel like they’re on top of the world. It is one of those common things about human nature. Truly, one of my pet peeves is feeling useless or powerless. I understand totally that there are circumstances, things and instances that are beyond your control. Sometimes, it is vital and needed to take a step back and let things play out the way they do. I am not one to give up or back down from challenges.

I hate feeling like I am being pushed away when I am giving it my all at no costs. It causes me to question the purpose of me pressing forward. It makes me question everything I have built.

Time can be a friend but it can also be a cruel enemy with how my patience is set up. I guess this is one of many learning lessons with regards to patience.

Oh the things we do when we are in love.

  • – Writer From Jersey